How Kidscape courses help children beat the bullies

serious bullying can take the kids to school refusal depression and even suicide, but improvements Kidscape reports huge special courses

"Do you want a drink, you need the bathroom?" She seems aware of himself and shakes his head to his mother. Around the horse chairs, and a few other mothers parents quietly conducting similar discussions with their children, then discreetly check to see that happened. They seem calm, but perhaps a little puzzled by what they see. It's a fairly normal, middle class, a group of children: attractive, intelligent, a little shy in an unknown environment

But although they are very intelligent and articulate, these children are not here to hothousing or tutoring. Many have traveled hundreds of miles to London to increased confidence and assertiveness to deal with serious bullying taken to the refusal of the school and even depression suicide attempt. The staff of the charity Kidscape anti-bullying, who runs the day without a single course, it is also concerned about the increase of self-harm and eating disorders among primary school children, especially girls.

The "Zap" Classes are held in a church hall near Victoria in two or three Thursdays a month, which covers three age groups: approximately nine to 11, 11-13 and 14 - 16. The organizers spend the first part of the session children develop self-esteem before using games, exercises and role plays to explore ways to deal with bullying and communication of feelings.

Kidscape

reports that 85% of children say they are not intimidated, and 8% say the situation has improved, with the numbers verified by the assessment services charities. Organizers say that where there was a significant improvement, it is often because the parents failed to follow the instructions for working with your children about their assertiveness techniques.

In a quiet corner before the current course of nine to 11 years of age begins, Julie Wilkinson, who heads a group of workers against bullying in schools courses Kidscape run in England works through the list of problems in the current group of four girls and six boys, they have suffered physical and verbal abuse, threatened in person and online, and there were rumors about them. All reported being excluded from friendship groups.

Soon parents are arrested in the morning. The atmosphere immediately clear that Linda Frost, a former director formidable and Claude Knights, director of Kidscape, may cause a session to break the ice. Some children are eager to share news of your favorite pet food and hobbies, but others need to be extracted. However, miraculously, every child leads eventually to the group. They are each invited to write or draw five things they love themselves and, as expected, most are not natural show-offs.

• In fact, Kidscape staff that sometimes children are shaping the self-reflexive attitude of their parents, and part of the session, parents is to learn to be more assertive in behavior, especially when dealing with authority figures at school.

When the session moves on the issue of bullying, children feel safe they do not need to talk about his ordeal, but fragments of broken: "I feel intimidated because I'm not as smart as them "- the most painful is that the child has assimilated the message. Frost has heard these stories many times and it's none of that." Of course, you are intelligent, "he says," I see that now. " Another boy, who did not go to the bathroom at school because the bullies are over the doors to be fitted, it is advisable to get a letter from home to get permission to go to the bathroom during the school hours. At noon, the participation of Kidscape staff frustration with the inability of many schools to address these problems, or even to admit there is a problem, noting that adults would never tolerate such behavior in the workplace.

Back to the church, the children move on techniques to deal with bullies. Kidscape "toolbox" includes: maintaining eye contact, confident body language (standing around looking good: hands in pockets are cooler than arms folded across his chest, Frost recommended) and that a strong and confident "no" reasonable requests. Many of these skills do not come naturally to this group affable, and parents are told the daily "on the table" is vital for success.

later work in the "fog" to imagine in a fog bank, where all the insults are swallowed by the fog before reaching them. If you insult a bully is true - for example, a child has red hair and glasses - a soft answer, "yes, you're right" or "well done, you've noticed," the torturer can wrongfoot. If this is not true, saying "it's what I think" or "maybe", then turns as far from the situation.
Another Thursday, another session, this time for children aged between 11 and 14. While spending the afternoon practice their newly acquired technical, talking about difficult situations and set goals for themselves, parents put all his heart to other parents and Peter Bradley, a psychotherapist specializing in adolescents. Some of his stories are like a punch in the chest: the girl who had appeared more confident about eating - to the point that I wondered why I was there - had tried to hang himself. Others were thrown into the street, forced to fly and had all the past book hidden, while two were expelled from school. Bradley has a limited time, but doing everything possible to help parents.