Pocket money tales: 'My son called me a disgrace for giving him only ?5,000 on his 18th birthday'

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pocket money back to levels seen before the financial crisis, in Halifax, said this week. So how much should you spend on your children? Donna Ferguson interviewed five very different families

Sarah, 42, and her husband, 47, work in the public sector and have a household income of ? 75,000. They have a nine year old girl

We started giving our daughter 50 pence a week pocket money two years ago, when she was seven years old, because we realized all her classmates received a grant. However, for those who have set the table, clear the dishes and making the bed. We agreed to raise ? 1 recently when I began to feed your hamster every day, but he got what he did not.

It can not, however, earn extra money for some tasks:. 5p to match a pair of socks in the laundry, 50p for watering the garden front and rear, two books to help clean the car

When we discovered some of his friends receive 10 pounds a week without doing anything else that we feel that we call the parents. But we're both working class origins and at an early age, we are taught that money should be earned, so it was important for us that he learned that money does not grow on trees - and "I want" doesn 't get. We want to make him realize that sometimes you have to make sacrifices and be attentive to the sacrifices of the people too.

We saved ? 100 a month into a savings account for the child when she turns 18. And we do not say "no" to it. We pay for clothes, books, trips outside, piano lessons, private lessons and birthday gifts for your friends. We recently received her do well in school with a theme park annual subscription for the whole family, which costs ? 100 per person.

However, it must save other things you want. Once saved more than a year, with the money they gave him for his birthday and Christmas, and I bought a trampoline 300 pounds. She uses it a lot, more than a year later, and I think it is because she keeps to herself.

She is a very generous person and an informed consumer - she loves to shop around for a good deal. When you are tempted to make an impulse buy with their pocket money if you really think you need it now or can get it cheaper later. Sometimes, I said, "Mom, put the money in my savings account that will not go again.".

Henriette, 48, won ? 7,000 a year as part-time administrator. Her husband, 49, earns ? 40,000 working for the NHS. They have a son, 15, and a daughter, 18

give our son an allowance of ? 8 per week and our daughter ? 50 per month - but they must keep their own room, put clothes away and take turns loading and unloading the dishwasher in order to get it. I have rarely harassed because they know that if they do everything, they have nothing.

two of our wages go into a joint account, used to pay half of their gym memberships and basic clothing such as shoes, a coat and underwear.

They buy the rest of your clothes. We also pay for their phones, but they are the cheapest deals possible.

feel we need to teach our children the value of money and that everything must be earned. Do not get something for nothing

think less materialistic when they have to pay for something themselves. They realize they have to make some sort of sacrifice to buy it, and may be you want to buy less important to them. Both can record properly - my son was able to save more than ? 1,000. He has more money than us in the bank!

Sometimes I feel under pressure to give them more money, as some of his friends who come from rich families and have more money than them. Sometimes I feel guilty because I want to give them more and I am not able. I never give up though - you can not afford and I do not want to borrow

When my daughter goes to college that held the maximum loan amount and we will give you about ? 50 per week on top, but if you need more, you will get a part time job. And learn how to cook.

Ewan, 44, earns ? 100,000 as a medical researcher, and his wife, aged 44, earns ? 49,000 as a doctor four days a week. They have twin 21-month

More than 60% of the salary of my wife goes to day care for the twins, which costs ? 2.600 per month. It's crazy, the equivalent of putting your child through Eton. They are private nursery four mornings a week due to the local nursery of the State were not enough seats, and the rest of the time, my wife is at work, we need two nannies. With two small children who need a second pair of hands or it is complete chaos.

whole time I was on maternity leave they hired a nanny to help. We thought it was a luxury, it was more like a necessity for me to go to work.

• We have a second home in Spain and among the mortgage the mortgage on our flat twin and care of children who have absolutely no slack in our London income - in fact, takes us our savings to get by every month. We find it impossible to save everyone, including children, although we would like. I'm very relaxed about it. I only see it as a temporary situation -. As the twins grow up we pay less for childcare

We plan to have two year-end holidays:. A Center Parcs and one in Spain, but because we were a family, not only for children at a cost of € 80 on flights

trips are also held once a month, spending ? 30 - ? 40 each time, and up to $ 50 per month in toys and occasional treats. In addition, usually spend about ? 50 per week per child, which covers its activities, clothing, food and a weekly that we go to the daycare center.

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Why Mumsnet and social media are important new forums for feminism

Much has been written recently about youth, media-savvy, feminism "fourth wave." But there is a quiet revolution bubbling in wide, and is run by mothers

Where should 20-something feminist go when faced with a barrage of online threats of rape and murder? Unsurprisingly, Laura Bates returns to talkboard Anonymous with soon found the project 18 months ago sexism. Less predictable, perhaps, the children of activists decided to make the parenting website Mumsnet. A few hours later, Bates had nearly 100 responses. They ranged from serious eschatological, but they were favorable. For your concern that was followed online BasilFoulTea writing. "Well, if you're stalking him - hello, you bet nobbers cock wankers needle may not have to kiss a woman who voluntarily, because we are all repulsive to halitosis and a complete lack of sex appeal and charisma

"It was the first time I laughed since the beginning of e-mails," said Bates, who is now celebrated by politicians and businesses to work the fight against sexism. "I a real weakness for Mumsnet. "

Much has been written in recent months about feminist "wave" fourth media calls and Internet-savvy young women like Bates, whose line petitions and direct action campaigns - to the British campaign against supermarkets have feminist boys No More Page 3 magazines, which so far received 116,750 signatures asking the Sun newspaper to scrap your photos of topless women - are addressing some long-standing issues

much less commented, however, there has been a quiet revolution has been underway for some time, in anonymous forums on all sorts of subjects, from cooking advice relations crises work - and very often, despite his retirement to argue that motherhood is not feminism, because they know that on sites like Mumsnet. The site, with its four million users, most of whom are women, is probably the most common example and politically important this smoldering resurgence in feminist thought.

Natasha Walter, author, feminist, was impressed by the atmosphere of support when I wrote Mumsnet Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism, a few years ago. "It was a dark time for feminists, before the current campaign on Twitter and on page 3. Just was not in force. People did not challenge the sexism. So I was very surprised by the discussions on Mumsnet. Go and listen and be encouraged by the way the women reacted. "

The kind of anonymity that was so problematic on the Web has also enabled women to talk about the sometimes terrible violence. Mumsnet founder Justine Roberts said: "The original campaign you believe [awareness about rape and sexual assault] is a good example of this - a safe space for anonymous people publish accounts of things had happened to them, often for decades, and say: '. been sexually assaulted and I always just shrugged / blame me "

last month, looked Mumsnet if its members consider themselves feminists. Approximately twice as many (59%) identify themselves as feminists such as not (28%). More importantly, the 2034 respondents were more likely to self-identify as feminists since joining Mumsnet, with the completion of only 47% if before joining.

support for feminism is everywhere in the busy and relationship problems advice not only on feminist talkboards created in 2010. A member who wishes to remain anonymous because of his work with activists against violence, wrote in an email: "If you look at the answers on the topics of relationships, which are instinctive progressive and pro-women. .. In pornography and prostitution are not feminist theory (Boring!), but real life happens. Again, the answers to these questions are favorable. "

Mumsnet Many feminists I talked to said they had been "feminist" but not an "academic" - as if the discussion of the theory of intersectionality of gender were real forms define the same as believing in equality, rather than the way they chose to live their lives. In the survey, 58% agreed with the statement that being part of a social network of other women makes them more likely to "take account of feminist perspectives on everyday topics" (such as domestic violence - 59% agree Mumsnet who had changed their views on what constitutes such abuse), and a similar percentage said that made them think differently about "how parents at my children when it s' comes to gender roles. " Nicola Hillary, who lives in Gloucestershire with her two young children, began to make a donation to help the Society of Women as a direct result of what he learned from others on the site. "I did not realize how horrible the situation is domestic violence for many women," she said. "It was a revelation, I suppose, because it is hidden in society and people do not talk."

• The results of the survey and the findings do not mean that all Mumsnetters are feminists, of course, would be like saying that all Twitter users are misogynistic. A great site known almost as much for their bickering and bitchiness and parenting advice ever to offer a vision of life. But Mumsnet and similar sites are a platform for women to speak and listen to the views and lives of others. Personal policy may have become a clich?, but social media has given new legs.

course, many feminists "old school" designation resist very Mumsnet. In a debate on Twitter earlier this year, for example, the novelist Judy Astley wrote: "Am 70 feminists have seen great changes everything we assume feminism is much more than the mother (father) bell .." Reporter. Ticky Hedley Dent said: "I think # Mumsnet is essential to understand feminism feminism comes into play until you have children, then you get ..."

Many women spoke of the shock to her sense of self that comes when you have a child. In his book Working life: Being a mother, for example, defense Rachel writes that "childbirth and motherhood are the anvil on which forged gender inequality and women in our society whose responsibilities expectations and experiences are like men have reason to fear approaching. women have changed, but their biological status remains unchanged. how motherhood offers a unique window on the history of our sex, but the glass breaks easily. "

In broken: Modern motherhood and the illusion of equality, Rebecca Asher, former editor-in hours of the BBC Radio 4 Woman, described how the "machine of motherhood transports us to the 1950s today ... Women are more likely than men to school and college. they make a success of his early career and relationships on their own terms. Thus, it might seem that equality is in the bag. But once have children, their illusions were quickly shattered. "

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No grit? Today's young are tougher than they are ever given credit for

Far from criticizing graduates

, politicians should help overcome the many obstacles they face

As the election campaign in full, blood -curdling scream , some Conservative MPs embarrassing photos appeared . Day Tomas University of Oxford Group, although some, like David Cameron , George Osborne and Nick Hurd, were members of the Bullingdon Club, a just society for boys - 1000 EUR resistant uniforms known for the 'noise' and criminal activity sometimes its members - and is also known to pay for the damage to healthy cash family Hotels. As soon as the photos were humiliating disappeared again , access to its use by the media denied by the company owner of the copyright .

was a very convenient arrangement of youthful . Compare that with luck the last week of the 17 - year-old Irish girl perform a sexual act on a child between fans at a concert at Slane Castle Eminem . A camera phone until it has been extended worldwide trend. Thousands of foreign direct abuse schoolgirl with hatred and profoundly sexist . Thousands of others were laughing at her , long after she had been sedated and hospitalized with the trauma of it all.

How

Bullingdon chapters would have faced to make mistakes in a post- author digital age ?

How would with any of us ? If one of them had not filed and accused the current generation of teenagers who "grain" I raised the issue of these photos ( I have a picture of myself as a teenager with a knee session Mohican a policeman rather not share ) . But such an attack by Nick Hurd, Minister for Civil Society , asked for comparisons , as expressed by the PCS union general secretary , Mark Serwotka , who said : "I wonder how much" grit "necessary for an old Etonian follow his father in parliament. "

fact, Hurd is the fourth generation of his family to enter Parliament , and not choose which school he was sent , and defended himself by saying he was talking about schools that raise toughness. But he chose to use a sentence against a cohort frankly could wipe the floor with his spoiled generation .

But however, was another wave of guilt falls on a group with little political clout and reputation tarnished easily . Sue Finan, a retired teacher from Leeds who spends the weekend tough assessment of adolescents Award Duke of Edinburgh ( for which applications have exploded ) , said: "I was furious , but they are constantly put these guys down when the test results are good. they are too easy . Our generation are those who have had it easy. extends these children and have more grain than all of us. "

The latest figures show that the number of young people who neither study nor work ( Neets ) now amounts to EUR 1.09 million . As we announced today , 3.5 million children under 18 live in relative poverty . More than 75,000 live in temporary shelters and 800,000 in overcrowded . There are children in the British classes must have their breakfast at a charity not only to vanish at their desks. Only magical lunch feeds 6,000 children daily. Adolescents and young people are assigned to assemble and most have sand under the nails to make a damn good try . We have to hit - you have to look a little harder than we

As jobs in the public sector and reducing the retirement age increases, the youngest part of the labor market is the bed - blocked by parents and grandparents s' cling to their work.

the housing ladder was drawn sharply among young people. Large amounts of social housing were sold and housing prices climbing means of this generation " grit -less " is unlikely to own their own home until they are well into middle age.

However, they are still determined to go to college, despite being programmed in only 18 or 19 to ? 9,000 per year debt temperament alone. Benefits to encourage them to go to college and went flying below are told they can go for learning, of which there are very few . Universities are inundated with requests , so that young people competing for places as unpaid interns or employment programs are run by greedy employers awkwardly .

But Hurd says business has said school leavers in the workplace and acting , well, like dropping out , not as people prepared for the workplace . Are they the same companies that were unable to go to school , they could not run work experience programs for students, and they simply could not find enough companies willing to the take ? Business leaders are always ready to go for drinks shoot at Downing Street , ministers moaning they can not get the staff, but how many of them also take the time to interact with the public schools , offering professional advice and guidance ?

Defense Hurd was , surprisingly , Teresa Pearce, Labour member of the Committee on work and pensions . She said : " .. I can not agree with the point that I think he's trying to do about schools that are more than test scores should be on preparing for the adult world of work and "

Really? What part of the evolving program , based on evidence of our high schools is padded hanger to make room for it? Are we not concerned about the loss of their childhood too soon? At what age do you become a loan office pompadour - tuggers ?


The contradictions in what we want for our children is perhaps the most damaging of all the evils that this generation has had to endure . They are the generation of Guinea Pig in the rapid social transformation that takes digital and social media, are the main victims of almost all its negative effects - from cyber -bullying to the stress of a world still 24 hours while generating frets around , not knowing whether it is good or bad.
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