'I don't want to live denying I'm gay'

Having reached his friends, Oli Kasino face a more difficult task - he said to his Orthodox Jewish family

I had planned to tell my parents I was gay in the Christmas holidays, when I got home from college. Towards the end of my first term in Manchester, I go to bed one night thinking I do not want to live what I deny more. Then I thought, if I go, which means going out with my parents. All his hopes that one day a wife and children broke out.

I was also concerned about the effect on my community and how people react to that - I am an Orthodox Jewish community in north-west London, where homosexuality is not accepted because it is in other sections of Jewish society. The religious response is that this is a test from God, and one of the things that I found difficult to reach an agreement with him was my religion told me I wrong.

One night I had a few drinks and told the people that lived in what I was gay. So I called my friends. The next day, sober, I was relieved. But I was worried, because now I had to tell my parents. A friend of mine said something useful, "You're like you and this must be."

I ended up doing a brief visit home the week before Christmas. My mother asked the kinds of questions has always been: "Do you have a girlfriend yet?" Then he added, jokingly, "Do you love? Are you gay?"

Yes, I said.

His reaction was a surprise.

"Are you kidding? Is it something I did? Is it my fault? "She asked.

I said I knew a few friends, and she thought that meant he was the last to know, but it was not. It was dark and I was about to go to bed. Mom called Dad in the room and said. "Oliver has something to say"

said. "I'm gay"

father was silent for a moment and then said, ". I still I love you, but do not want to tell family and friends "

I was not hurt - I enjoyed it. He had better than I feared. I went to Manchester, the first thing the next morning, so there was no time for long conversations. I felt liberated. It took me all the way, singing to myself.

I returned the weekend after the end of the term. Once again my parents both said they loved me and were good for me to be gay. My father said he had changed his mind about not telling your family and friends. I wanted to have a conversation about me. But even when I was younger and had friends, did not want to talk about my private life with my parents.

• strange that the other members of my family, like making a big announcement. I have three older sisters - I told him a year before I was bisexual. I sent texts to relatives, cousins ??and learned on Facebook. I went for coffee with my grandmother and she asked about his friends. I said, "I have no friends because I'm gay."
She held him in its wake. She said she knew people who were homosexual.

In some areas of Judaism, homosexuality is frowned upon. Usually, in my community, what happens in your private life is his private life. This does not agree with homosexuality, but only if they have to deal with it, not necessarily mean it's wrong. I heard men in very religious communities who are openly gay, but then get married and have children.

father was concerned about the people in our community know about me, but he said that everyone supported. I found it difficult at first, knowing that they knew. We had friends family just returned after I left and spent most of the time in my room.

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